Over the course of my career, I’ve been in a great many situations where I didn’t like the way things were being done. Maybe it was my boss, or the executive team, or the engineering strategy, or the marketing positioning, or the decline in revenue, or…well, you get the picture. For reasons too numerous to count, things just weren’t all that great for me and/or for everyone. And here’s my true confession: when that happened, I was only too happy to join the malcontents, to hash over and discuss and criticize and complain. It seemed to relieve the tension, to clear the air. We got things off our chest. We said it like it was. We felt powerful and smart because we understood what was REALLY happening, we saw through the smoke screen, we couldn’t be fooled, and we knew the Emperor had no clothes.
Things began to change for me when I was working at Wang Labs during their precipitous decline in fortunes. Every day presented new opportunities for us anxious and disbelieving employees to kibitz and second guess every corporate decision. The clouds of misery were everywhere, and we tried to talk ourselves out of our frustration by over-analyzing every little event. Then one day my boss called me into her office. “Courtney,” she said, “you are unbelievably good at distilling the truth of a situation down to two or three well chosen phrases that allow everyone to see clearly what is actually going on.” As I was beginning to puff up a bit with pride, she continued, “And sometimes you just shouldn’t do it.” Ouch!
This gave me a lot to think about, and in the ensuing years I’ve spent a great deal of time working with this complex question: when is it appropriate to “tell it like it is” and when is it more valuable to find the possibility in the situation, to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, to calm the waters? This question speaks directly to what kind of leader we want to be.
It’s pretty easy to gather people around you when you take the low road. We are a rather whiny species -- quick to blame, to cite grievance, to demand satisfaction. In my capacity as articulate complainer, I found lots of validation for my opinions. But those opinions, however well expressed, positioned me as a negative leader. I was unwittingly making myself and everyone around me more miserable by focusing on what was broken, by amplifying what we were afraid of or angry about, and as a cohort, we couldn’t go anywhere but down.
We may not always have control of the important influences in our lives. The economy, the demand for our product, the weather, the competition – these often arise to impact us from what seems like another universe. But we always have an opportunity to be calm and trustworthy. To listen quietly. To validate someone’s discomfort without throwing gasoline on the fire. To acknowledge difficulties and still offer a way out. To hold our ground. To give people the benefit of the doubt. To use language that strengthens, rather than fans dissatisfaction. I’m not talking about blind optimism here, that is about as effective as using a smile for your umbrella. I’m talking about focusing on what is possible, reminding us that we have the power to make things happen, and affirming our strength and courage.
No one is perfect, and no one leads perfectly. But when things are moving fast, and chaos reigns, and uncertainty is the order of the day, we need to offer leadership that inspires, that energizes, that motivates. This is the kind of leadership that brings us out of difficulties and back to prosperity. Every one of us has an opportunity every day to make great changes in our organizations and our lives by leading from a higher ground.
____________________
Courtney Behm holds a B.A. and an M.A. in Performing Arts and Communication, and an M.B.A. from the Harvard Graduate School of Business. In her corporate career, she has worked for wildly successful companies, and those struggling to stay afloat in the ocean of change. Through her consulting company, Viewpoint Solutions (www.ViewpointSolutions.com), she has helped a diverse client base, including Sun Microsystems, Adobe Systems, Wyeth Pharmaceuticals and the San Jose/Silicon Valley Chamber of Commerce, find creative solutions to classic business problems. An accomplished speaker, Courtney uses a combination of language, humor, insight and front-line experience to offer a fresh perspective on life in the fast lane. In 2006, she returned to the corporate world, and is currently Senior Project Manager at i365, A Seagate Company. She is writing a book on how to lead effectively in a time of constant change, and collaborating on a book on Personal Career Management.
Things began to change for me when I was working at Wang Labs during their precipitous decline in fortunes. Every day presented new opportunities for us anxious and disbelieving employees to kibitz and second guess every corporate decision. The clouds of misery were everywhere, and we tried to talk ourselves out of our frustration by over-analyzing every little event. Then one day my boss called me into her office. “Courtney,” she said, “you are unbelievably good at distilling the truth of a situation down to two or three well chosen phrases that allow everyone to see clearly what is actually going on.” As I was beginning to puff up a bit with pride, she continued, “And sometimes you just shouldn’t do it.” Ouch!
This gave me a lot to think about, and in the ensuing years I’ve spent a great deal of time working with this complex question: when is it appropriate to “tell it like it is” and when is it more valuable to find the possibility in the situation, to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, to calm the waters? This question speaks directly to what kind of leader we want to be.
It’s pretty easy to gather people around you when you take the low road. We are a rather whiny species -- quick to blame, to cite grievance, to demand satisfaction. In my capacity as articulate complainer, I found lots of validation for my opinions. But those opinions, however well expressed, positioned me as a negative leader. I was unwittingly making myself and everyone around me more miserable by focusing on what was broken, by amplifying what we were afraid of or angry about, and as a cohort, we couldn’t go anywhere but down.
We may not always have control of the important influences in our lives. The economy, the demand for our product, the weather, the competition – these often arise to impact us from what seems like another universe. But we always have an opportunity to be calm and trustworthy. To listen quietly. To validate someone’s discomfort without throwing gasoline on the fire. To acknowledge difficulties and still offer a way out. To hold our ground. To give people the benefit of the doubt. To use language that strengthens, rather than fans dissatisfaction. I’m not talking about blind optimism here, that is about as effective as using a smile for your umbrella. I’m talking about focusing on what is possible, reminding us that we have the power to make things happen, and affirming our strength and courage.
No one is perfect, and no one leads perfectly. But when things are moving fast, and chaos reigns, and uncertainty is the order of the day, we need to offer leadership that inspires, that energizes, that motivates. This is the kind of leadership that brings us out of difficulties and back to prosperity. Every one of us has an opportunity every day to make great changes in our organizations and our lives by leading from a higher ground.
____________________
Courtney Behm holds a B.A. and an M.A. in Performing Arts and Communication, and an M.B.A. from the Harvard Graduate School of Business. In her corporate career, she has worked for wildly successful companies, and those struggling to stay afloat in the ocean of change. Through her consulting company, Viewpoint Solutions (www.ViewpointSolutions.com), she has helped a diverse client base, including Sun Microsystems, Adobe Systems, Wyeth Pharmaceuticals and the San Jose/Silicon Valley Chamber of Commerce, find creative solutions to classic business problems. An accomplished speaker, Courtney uses a combination of language, humor, insight and front-line experience to offer a fresh perspective on life in the fast lane. In 2006, she returned to the corporate world, and is currently Senior Project Manager at i365, A Seagate Company. She is writing a book on how to lead effectively in a time of constant change, and collaborating on a book on Personal Career Management.
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